fuck off, I’m voting for Stein

I was going to write an essay on the subject of third-party voting, but I don’t have too much time or patience to waste on debunking fallacies and obfuscations propagated by liars and imbeciles. But in the spirit of Martin Luther and Karl Marx, here are a few theses on the topic: It’s perverse, to […]

here’s to my sweet Santa

The worst aspect of our society’s observance of Christmas is the way adults deceive children into believing there’s a magical bearded man who will grant their wishes if they’re good. But enough about Jesus. Santa Claus, on the other hand, is a truly heroic figure, running, as he does, a pagan mole operation inside the […]


A preoccupation with one’s own feelings of victimhood, triumph, and exceptionalism, to the detriment of serious contemplation of the ways in which one victimizes others, is a sign of narcissism and psychopathy in nations as well as in individuals. Forget I mentioned it. Rise for the flag salute. NEVER FORGET! THESE COLORS DON’T RUN! LET’S […]


The striking thing about Osama bin Laden’s death is how utterly depressing it is. Is there really anything to celebrate here? Have the victims of the September 11 attacks suddenly come back to life? How about the hundreds of thousands of people (possibly over a million) killed in wars we justified based on Sept. 11? […]

four unrelated poems

pleonastic neoplasm sliced spasm, a tumor fluoresces silver gleaming white in hypernova gamma ray bursts and vulvar ectoplasm platinum coruscates; an epileptic caesura scintillating, throbbing, flashing hemicrania aura planarians, electrodes, the bicameral mind I forgot what I was going to write here horse clitoris! buck naked, a cunt-baked bundt cake sat in the slot of […]