Posts Tagged ‘Norse mythology’

Norsemen of the apocalypse

Friday, November 11th, 2011

I designed some signs/stickers/posters to help you protest the suffocating banality of life under modern capitalism: (more…)

Jólnir vs. White Christ-mas

Thursday, December 25th, 2008

To mark today’s ancient festival, I’d like to remind our readership that the poems on this blog are not meant for effete postmodern snobs.  No, they belong to TIME-HONORED VIKING TRADITION: the tradition of men like Egill Skallagrímsson who, after vomiting in their enemies’ faces and biting through berserkers’ throats, would record their valiant deeds for posterity in extemporaneous verse.  They also dressed really spiffy.  The best Vikings were, like Mike Gravel and Frank Zappa, UTTERLY COMPLETE HUMAN BEINGS.

Unfortunately, if the Vikings had any fault, it was their Scandinavian open-mindedness and tolerance.  This made them easy prey to Christian missionaries, resulting in five centuries of Catholicism and another five centuries of Lutheranism.  LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU.  So, as penance for the sins of my ancestors*, I present to you the lyrics of my Viking metal “Christmas” song which I’m probably never going to get around to recording because I don’t really give a shit.  I dedicate it to pagans everywhere.

Oh yeah, and I decided to put it in all caps to UNLEASH THE FURY.  THERE IS NO ROOM FOR SUBTLETY IN METAL.

ODIN IS A GOD
CHRIST WAS A FOOL
DOWN WITH CHRISTMAS
BRING BACK YULE
THOR IS A GOD
PAUL WAS A TOOL
DEATH TO CHRISTMAS
BRING BACK YULE (more…)