MEIN FÜHRER, I CAN WALK

Here‘s a Devo song that should be rewritten for Dick Cheney: he got big and fat and he was ridin’ high makin’ lots of cash trashin’ others’ lives now Cheney’s in a wheelchair and I don’t care Anyway, what did everyone think of Elizabeth Alexander’s inaugural poem? I think mine was better. The news on […]

apes that eat figs

Did you know that our President-elect is not only a master craftsman of abdominal muscles, hand-rolled cigarettes, and bullshit, but of poetry as well? It’s true! What do you think Obama’s cave-ape poem is really about? I think it’s about the Yetinsyny. Maybe he was listening to Devo at the time. Also, the NY Times […]

why are things the way they are? Τί ἐστιν ἀλήθεια;

Here are three biographical poems about important individuals of our time. I wrote them in early 2008. They’re not really clerihews, but what the fuck: 1. Richard Kern Improper kerning can make porno pomo, But if you don’t like Kern, you must be a homo. [I realize there are plenty of homos who like Kern, […]