go fuck yourself, Google

OK, so it’s bad enough that Google knows all my private conversations and preferences in pornography (have I told you about my Lutheran deaconess fetish?*). And then there’s this creepy NSA collaboration business. Since when is a surveillance agency in the business of cybersecurity anyway? (Although it’s not really a huge surprise.) And how about […]

God’s third mistake

From page 28 of The Poodle: An Owner’s Guide to a Happy, Healthy Pet by Virginia Parker Guidry, here is the most Zappaesque story ever: Duc proved himself a clown one evening at a “pompous” dinner party. He had been left upstairs, in case some of the guests did not like dogs; one senses that […]

the year we make contact

So Poetariat has been silent for a while, but I guess Smokehouse is probably working, and I’ve been putting some effort into my own personal projects. When finished, said projects may or may not be the subject of a future post. I also have a variety of subjects I’ve been meaning to write about, but […]

oh boy

Here are some interesting news stories I read this morning: RI Gov. Don Carcieri, already known for his authoritarian bent, legalizes police rape (did you know that in areas where prostitution is illegal, a prostitute is more likely to have sex with a police officer than to get arrested by one?) provisions of leaked ACTA […]

news/olds

If this country’s news media were rational and not preoccupied with trifles, the ALL-CAPS front-page headlines every day would be the following: TOP 1% OWN MORE THAN 90% OF WEALTH MOST INCARCERATED SOCIETY IN THE WORLD: PRISON RAPE RAMPANT WAR OF AGGRESSION STILL GOING UNPUNISHED: WAR CRIMES INCLUDE CHILD RAPE, GENITAL TORTURE …and probably also […]

feeding the trolls

Giving Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize is like giving Sarah Palin an award for her compassion toward rape victims.* Seriously, it’s Norway‘s biggest dick move since they forced Iceland to convert to Christianity. I think this would be a good time to recall the immortal words of ODIN: Give praise to the day at […]

after the gold rush

My friend Jason received another feline communiqué from the extraterrestrials: Joey spoke to me again; this time it made no sense at all: “Self-awareness is self-delusion. The man in black sees all. Humanity has reached its end; the cetaceans demand it. The star vibrates. Feel the lion purr as it inherits the earth. The seeds […]

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

So I just went on omegle.com [I was waiting for a computer to render some stuff, bitches], and in addition to telling a Frenchman that Napoleon Dynamite was “American cinema at its finest,” I had this delightful exchange: Stranger: I’m guessing you’re against black metal? (: You: No, my church has a special black metal […]