Archive for the ‘mundane’ Category

identity politics meets sociopathy

Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

Charles Davis wrote the definitive analysis of this mentality last July.

go fuck yourself, Google

Friday, February 12th, 2010

OK, so it’s bad enough that Google knows all my private conversations and preferences in pornography (have I told you about my Lutheran deaconess fetish?*).

And then there’s this creepy NSA collaboration business. Since when is a surveillance agency in the business of cybersecurity anyway? (Although it’s not really a huge surprise.) And how about Youtube’s censorship of questions to President Obama about marijuana legalization?

But now Google had to drop a big steaming turd on my e-mail account. I’m getting tired of your waterhead fuckarounds, Google. All I wanted was e-mail. If I wanted a goddamn social networking site, I would already be on Twatbook or Facefuck or whatever the kids are using these days. And I certainly wouldn’t be on a social network that automatically lists me as “following” my proctologist.

Salient quote:

When I enabled Google Buzz, it was using a photo on my personal Buzz page (not my profile or anything) that I’d taken on my Droid but hadn’t ever uploaded. Why? And why that photo? And–what? That’s just creepy as hell.

And a quote from a Google statement:

We thought very carefully about how to create a great experience in Google Buzz with as minimal setup as possible. We designed our auto-following system to enable users to immediately see content from the people they email and chat with most, so when they start using Buzz, it “just works.” If users are automatically followed to anyone they’d rather not follow, it’s easy to remove these individuals during the auto-following step by clicking on the “edit” link and then clicking “unfollow” next to their names.


God’s third mistake

Monday, February 1st, 2010

From page 28 of The Poodle: An Owner’s Guide to a Happy, Healthy Pet by Virginia Parker Guidry, here is the most Zappaesque story ever:

Duc proved himself a clown one evening at a “pompous” dinner party. He had been left upstairs, in case some of the guests did not like dogs; one senses that he may have been somewhat provoked by this slight. Meanwhile, at dinner, the subject of the famous white Poodle was raised; just as his owner was about to expound on his greatness, in walked Duc, all dignity and elegance — with an enema bag in his mouth! As if in the show ring, he marched around the table and out of the room, tail wagging.

edit: Speaking of Zappa, here’s an ironic news story about his hometown (or rather, one of his several hometowns).

the year we make contact

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

So Poetariat has been silent for a while, but I guess Smokehouse is probably working, and I’ve been putting some effort into my own personal projects. When finished, said projects may or may not be the subject of a future post.

I also have a variety of subjects I’ve been meaning to write about, but every time I think about writing about poodles or television or Icelandic people, it seems to me to be rather like a conversation about trees.

I don’t really have anything to say about Obama’s snoozer of a State of the Union speech the other night, or about the nasty little fascist dorkwad who gave the Republican response. I realize that “fascist” is a bit hackneyed nowadays, but anyone who thinks that Obama’s record has been marked by excessive respect for civil liberties is truly diseased. (Why, yes, I have adopted Frank Zappa’s typographic idiosyncrasies; glad you asked.) Overall, the most interesting quote from that night was when Chris Matthews said, “I forgot he was black for an hour!” Stay classy, Chris.

Anyway, if the American news media had any priorities, there would be two headlines on the front page of the newspaper every day: a really really big one saying FORCES OF EVIL CONTINUE TO CONTROL PLANET, and then underneath that a smaller one saying “Puppies, kittens still adorable.” But to provide some further detail, here are some interesting links I’ve seen since the last time I posted. Some are old, but they are still relevant because a) timely blogging is THE MAN, b) I assume that everyone who reads Poetariat lives in the wilderness on honey and locusts and has no exposure to other media, c) many of the most important news stories only appear once and then nobody ever talks about them again, and d) to paraphrase Ralph Nader, “to know and not to blog is not to know.” Ralph Nader would probably slap me for saying that.

Gitmo North
detainees are nonpersons
11% think free market is working well
Afghanistan wants foreign killers handed over (more…)

oh boy

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Here are some interesting news stories I read this morning:

RI Gov. Don Carcieri, already known for his authoritarian bent, legalizes police rape (did you know that in areas where prostitution is illegal, a prostitute is more likely to have sex with a police officer than to get arrested by one?)
provisions of leaked ACTA treaty would ruin the internet
patents on human genes challenged
teenagers sue school that violated their free speech rights to enforce Abrahamic “morality”
and speaking of Abrahamic morality…
court says swearing in text messages is legal, as should be obvious to any American with a rudimentary grasp of civics
Sen. Grassley wants to prohibit government advisers from discussing an end to the drug war, as is already the case with the “drug czar”
Maine voters reject love
bats like oral sex

Also, Sibel Edmonds has a new news and commentary site that you should check out, and here is an in-depth interview with her and fellow FBI whistleblower John M. Cole. And here are some very inspiring rugs by Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo.


Saturday, October 24th, 2009

If this country’s news media were rational and not preoccupied with trifles, the ALL-CAPS front-page headlines every day would be the following:


…and probably also NSA MONITORING ALL INTERNET TRAFFIC. Anyway, here’s some other news I’ve been meaning to write some blog posts about for the past few months, but I’m a procrastinator, so now most of it isn’t news anymore, but I’m still linking to the articles since you may have missed some of them:

drug decriminalization in Latin America
FBI can “assess” any individual without suspicion
British high court rules that seven paragraphs describing the torture of Binyam Mohamed should be released, Obama administration predictably objects
two-year-old denied health insurance for being too small, rape is also a preexisting condition; meanwhile, Obama not demanding public option, even though 57% of Americans favor it (but honestly, I can barely keep up with all the hourly changes in the status of the public option)
ASCAP thinks you owe them money for “public performance” of your ringtone
Remind me never to move to Virginia
REAL ID is back
Irish Peace Prize winner calls Obama award “sad”
Obama administration considers phone companies “an arm of the government,” Congress an appendage to executive branch
the alternative economy (more…)

feeding the trolls

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Giving Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize is like giving Sarah Palin an award for her compassion toward rape victims.*

Seriously, it’s Norway‘s biggest dick move since they forced Iceland to convert to Christianity. I think this would be a good time to recall the immortal words of ODIN:

Give praise to the day at evening, | to a woman on her pyre,
To a weapon which is tried, | to a maid at wed lock,
To ice when it is crossed, | to ale that is drunk.

–the Hávamál


*Although perhaps it’s appropriate that he be given a peace prize named after a munitions manufacturer. So maybe I should say it’s like giving Sarah Palin the Roman Polanski Compassion Toward Rape Victims Prize… which, in all honesty, would be totally great.

shit sandwich

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

OK, so I was going to write another diatribe against the American power elite and their toadies in the media who channel popular resentment into astroturfed poot, but I didn’t want to type that much right now, and also I have priorities, so how about that Prisoner remake, huh?

If you’re like me, when you watched the original Prisoner, you kind of liked it, but then you thought, “You know how this could be better? They could have Jesus play Number Six and deliver all his lines like a Republican, and then they could move the whole thing to the desert, put everyone in T-shirts and jeans, and score it with reality-TV music!” Because come on, people, irony is for Eurotrash. This is Straight Talk Express country.

(Seriously though, Americans are fine with irony, as long as it’s used to tell them how hip they are when they vote for center-right presidential candidates.)

Also, did you notice that they gave Number Six a love interest? Because when I think Number Six, I think chivalry, don’t you?

I have responded to this development by creating my own Prisoner remake, which is currently playing a sold-out theatrical run IN MY MIND. In keeping with the original series’ prescient depiction of the neotenous trappings of authoritarian systems, my remake is scored by Takako Minekawa, Kiiiiiii, Polysics, OORUTAICHI, Obakejaa, Salk Vacchin, YMCK, DAT Politics, Gangpol und Mit, and Wobbly. Oh, and there’s also some skweee and early Fin.K.L. All characters, regardless of age, are dressed as exaggerated stereotypes of historical youth subcultures, to illustrate the theme of Faschismus ohne Gleichschaltung. Number Six is alternately played by undead Patrick McGoohan and Mike Gravel, who occasionally freezes time to break the fourth wall and talk about the military-industrial complex. Basically this remake explores many of the same themes presented in Suicide Club and Privilege.

Also, did you know that Poetariat is over a year old now?

after the gold rush

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

My friend Jason received another feline communiqué from the extraterrestrials:

Joey spoke to me again; this time it made no sense at all:

“Self-awareness is self-delusion. The man in black sees all. Humanity has reached its end; the cetaceans demand it. The star vibrates. Feel the lion purr as it inherits the earth. The seeds have been planted; now wait for the harvest. Enjoy the ice but not the cream. Time to go home. Love.”



See also parts 1 and 2, or read about another person who received messages from domestic animals.

(Come to think of it, I was once writing an essay for homework in high school, got stuck trying to think of what to put in the concluding paragraph, and then took a nap and had a dream where my cat told me “just bullshit it.” It was good advice.)

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Monday, August 17th, 2009

So I just went on [I was waiting for a computer to render some stuff, bitches], and in addition to telling a Frenchman that Napoleon Dynamite was “American cinema at its finest,” I had this delightful exchange:

Stranger: I’m guessing you’re against black metal? (:
You: No, my church has a special black metal liturgy for kids like you.
Stranger: lmfao..
You: It’s on Saturday night, right after our Juggalo Service.