Posts Tagged ‘the truth about de-evolution’

Götzen-Dämmerung, oder, wie man mit dem Hammer philosophiert

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

Remember how I said that the gods would return to show their might? As always, my predictions were accurate (and I don’t even have a völva), as Thor is alive and well and dishing out divine justice in Ohio:

Also gathered along Union Road were Franklin twins and storm chasers Levi and Seth Walsh, who said they were out in the thunderstorm when they heard about the fire through a Facebook update.

“It sent goosebumps through my whole body because I am a believer,” said Levi Walsh, 29. “Of all the things that could have been struck, I just think that that would be protected. … It’s something that’s not supposed to happen, Jesus burning,” he said. “I had to see it with my own eyes.”

“I can’t believe Jesus was struck,” said his brother, who noted the giant Hustler Hollywood sign for the adult store across the street was untouched. “It’s the last thing I expected to happen.”

The now-razed effigy of the White Christ was, appropriately enough, made of Styrofoam.

This is not the first time this has happened. Note that Jim Caviezel was struck by lightning not once, but twice. Presumably the first strike was out of wrath at Mel Gibson’s Jesus movie, and the second was Thor’s attempt to prevent that nauseating teratoma of a Prisoner remake. I can only attribute Caviezel’s survival and subsequent desecration of McGoohan’s legacy to the hand of Loki.

Also, what does it say about the USA that Wikipedia needs a disambiguation page for “Touchdown Jesus”?

In conclusion, St. Boniface can suck my fuckin’ dick.

oh boy

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Here are some interesting news stories I read this morning:

RI Gov. Don Carcieri, already known for his authoritarian bent, legalizes police rape (did you know that in areas where prostitution is illegal, a prostitute is more likely to have sex with a police officer than to get arrested by one?)
provisions of leaked ACTA treaty would ruin the internet
patents on human genes challenged
teenagers sue school that violated their free speech rights to enforce Abrahamic “morality”
and speaking of Abrahamic morality…
court says swearing in text messages is legal, as should be obvious to any American with a rudimentary grasp of civics
Sen. Grassley wants to prohibit government advisers from discussing an end to the drug war, as is already the case with the “drug czar”
Maine voters reject love
bats like oral sex

Also, Sibel Edmonds has a new news and commentary site that you should check out, and here is an in-depth interview with her and fellow FBI whistleblower John M. Cole. And here are some very inspiring rugs by Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo.

I want a garden where the flowers have no flowers

Monday, May 18th, 2009

Here’s an article about what passes for poetry at the White House. I personally prefer Barack’s own poetry (only the cave-ape one — the other one is tl;dr unless you read it as thinly veiled geronterotica, in which case TTJO).

Speaking of the dawn of man, some scientists think that Neanderthals went extinct because our ancestors ate them. The scholarly contributions of Author Kiss My Ass were surprisingly accurate.

Update: Placentas buried under avocado trees.

MEIN FÜHRER, I CAN WALK

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009

Here‘s a Devo song that should be rewritten for Dick Cheney:

he got big and fat
and he was ridin’ high
makin’ lots of cash
trashin’ others’ lives
now Cheney’s in a wheelchair and I don’t care

Anyway, what did everyone think of Elizabeth Alexander’s inaugural poem? I think mine was better. The news on whether the new administration will in fact clean the wound is still mixed.

apes that eat figs

Saturday, December 27th, 2008

Did you know that our President-elect is not only a master craftsman of abdominal muscles, hand-rolled cigarettes, and bullshit, but of poetry as well? It’s true!

What do you think Obama’s cave-ape poem is really about? I think it’s about the Yetinsyny. Maybe he was listening to Devo at the time.

Also, the NY Times had an interesting article on the clusterfuck that is inaugural poetry.

girls say LATER to boys who say NADER

Friday, October 31st, 2008

(unless they look like James Spader)

Hi! It’s been over a month since Poetariat’s last dispatch, so here are some brief notes in lieu of anything substantial:

a) Smokehouse is working on what will be one of the greatest literary masterpieces of all time. You will see it if and when she decides you’re worthy of it.

b) I have been avoiding the Blog-O-Sphere (it sounds like a Devo song when you write it like that) due to my distaste for constant lovebombings in favor of deus ex machina chicagoensis. I was going to vote for Nader, who has captured the elusive yet all-important Druid vote, but then I heard that women will deny me access to the magical Skinner boxes between their legs for the next four to eight years if I do that! And naturally I believe that all civic choices should be made on a libidinal basis… which is why I voted for macho man Mike Gravel in the primary.

c) I haven’t written any worthwhile poetry lately (besides the title of this post), but soon I’ll probably post some other stuff I’ve been doing. I’ve been working on another one of my drawings, but maybe I’ll also serialize an album of music if I feel like it.