God’s third mistake

From page 28 of The Poodle: An Owner’s Guide to a Happy, Healthy Pet by Virginia Parker Guidry, here is the most Zappaesque story ever: Duc proved himself a clown one evening at a “pompous” dinner party. He had been left upstairs, in case some of the guests did not like dogs; one senses that […]

another one bites the dust

So last week Claiborne Pell died. This Providence Journal article from 1995 is a good summary of the career of the former US Senator from Rhode Island (surprising, given what a shit publication it is). A relevant quote: “It’s very fundamental in politics to be what you are,” says Sen. John H. Chafee. “‘To thine […]

girls say LATER to boys who say NADER

(unless they look like James Spader) Hi! It’s been over a month since Poetariat’s last dispatch, so here are some brief notes in lieu of anything substantial: a) Smokehouse is working on what will be one of the greatest literary masterpieces of all time. You will see it if and when she decides you’re worthy […]

fuck off, I’m voting for Nader

This year’s Olympics of Banality are turning out AWESOME. Here’s a poem about consumer politics in America, specifically the pathetic Obama movement. I wrote most of it a few months ago. It’s in all lowercase with minimal punctuation because I didn’t want the typography to interrupt the doucheflow. It’s still pretty rough, but that’s the […]

babyfur

Here’s a poem I wrote in like 5 minutes, about a year and a half ago, about that magical subculture where furversion and adult baby fetishism intersect. It’s pretty terrible, but you’ll like it better when I turn it into a song. I’m thinking of programming it in Pure Data and making it sound like […]