go fuck yourself, Google

OK, so it’s bad enough that Google knows all my private conversations and preferences in pornography (have I told you about my Lutheran deaconess fetish?*). And then there’s this creepy NSA collaboration business. Since when is a surveillance agency in the business of cybersecurity anyway? (Although it’s not really a huge surprise.) And how about […]

God’s third mistake

From page 28 of The Poodle: An Owner’s Guide to a Happy, Healthy Pet by Virginia Parker Guidry, here is the most Zappaesque story ever: Duc proved himself a clown one evening at a “pompous” dinner party. He had been left upstairs, in case some of the guests did not like dogs; one senses that […]

fuck off, I’m voting for Nader

This year’s Olympics of Banality are turning out AWESOME. Here’s a poem about consumer politics in America, specifically the pathetic Obama movement. I wrote most of it a few months ago. It’s in all lowercase with minimal punctuation because I didn’t want the typography to interrupt the doucheflow. It’s still pretty rough, but that’s the […]

babyfur

Here’s a poem I wrote in like 5 minutes, about a year and a half ago, about that magical subculture where furversion and adult baby fetishism intersect. It’s pretty terrible, but you’ll like it better when I turn it into a song. I’m thinking of programming it in Pure Data and making it sound like […]