Norwegian Wood

This is the only piece of literature that we, the two authors of this blog (Smokehouse and Moral Authority), have written collaboratively thus far. It was inspired by an ill-advised (though totally awesome) encounter that I, Smokehouse, had with a certain Norwegian. I did indeed send this poem to its subject, much to the chagrin of certain friends who, though kind and loving, have unprogressive things to say about aggressive female sexuality and/or self-debasement. The subject, being a philistine, rejected our poem. I will keep personal details to a minimum. I will provide them when I think they might enhance your enjoyment of our writing. And perhaps in posting these details, it will serve to remind me that haste in courtship can sometimes make things more difficult than cowardice.

Norwegian Wood
Fully Engorged Edition

Part I
Invocation of Bragi

Please sing to me, oh Bragi, I’ll
Get plugged by Gunnar doggy style
I am no Snorri and this is no Edda
My purpose no grander than to give some head-ah
I betrayed my man like Vidkun Quisling
I never cheat but this Norseman was sizzling
How could I resist fucking one of the Aesir
When my boyfriend would be none the wiser?
So I got on all fours and he tapped my ass hard
Then he got on Sleipnir and rode back to Asgard

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