do this

Do you live in Rhode Island? Do you think that the state needs to stop interfering with people’s private lives? Do you think that when a proposed law is advocated by the police, the Attorney General, and the Catholic Church, but opposed by every significant civil liberties and human rights group, that’s usually a sign […]

news/olds

If this country’s news media were rational and not preoccupied with trifles, the ALL-CAPS front-page headlines every day would be the following: TOP 1% OWN MORE THAN 90% OF WEALTH MOST INCARCERATED SOCIETY IN THE WORLD: PRISON RAPE RAMPANT WAR OF AGGRESSION STILL GOING UNPUNISHED: WAR CRIMES INCLUDE CHILD RAPE, GENITAL TORTURE …and probably also […]

feeding the trolls

Giving Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize is like giving Sarah Palin an award for her compassion toward rape victims.* Seriously, it’s Norway‘s biggest dick move since they forced Iceland to convert to Christianity. I think this would be a good time to recall the immortal words of ODIN: Give praise to the day at […]

after the gold rush

My friend Jason received another feline communiqué from the extraterrestrials: Joey spoke to me again; this time it made no sense at all: “Self-awareness is self-delusion. The man in black sees all. Humanity has reached its end; the cetaceans demand it. The star vibrates. Feel the lion purr as it inherits the earth. The seeds […]

suing someone for a blog post is totally not psychotic

So you may have heard about this awful court ruling. Basically an anonymous blogger referred to a model as a “psychotic, lying, whoring, still going to clubs at her age, skank.” Keep in mind that this blog had “only five posts on it, all written on a single day.” So naturally said model, who is […]

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

So I just went on omegle.com [I was waiting for a computer to render some stuff, bitches], and in addition to telling a Frenchman that Napoleon Dynamite was “American cinema at its finest,” I had this delightful exchange: Stranger: I’m guessing you’re against black metal? (: You: No, my church has a special black metal […]

I want a garden where the flowers have no flowers

Here’s an article about what passes for poetry at the White House. I personally prefer Barack’s own poetry (only the cave-ape one — the other one is tl;dr unless you read it as thinly veiled geronterotica, in which case TTJO). Speaking of the dawn of man, some scientists think that Neanderthals went extinct because our […]